A eulogy for the
world (and words) of my youth
It has long been accepted wisdom that when a person begins
yearning for the “good old days” that person
is getting old and that memory of those days is faulty.
Well, I guess I’m old then, but I don’t believe
my memory is all that faulty.
I would trade each and every convenience produced by technology–and
those conveniences have made our lives physically easier–for
the society that I knew and understood as a child, youth
and young adult. In order to make these longings understood
by our younger readers, I must introduce a vocabulary that
has been lost over the last three decades.
Decorum is one of the most important–not because it
has the deepest moral imperative– but because it allowed
other moral imperatives to exist. When people exercise simple
decorum, they are pleasant company. That alone makes it
difficult for others to become angry. In fact, it makes
others actually feel good about themselves and their fellow
man.
A close relative to decorum is propriety. If people would
exercise just the barest propriety, we wouldn’t have
nearly so many unpleasant incidents. We could go out to
eat without having our sensibilities assaulted by both manners
and language that should horrify a sailor, but seem to no
longer horrify anyone but me.
Discrimination is another good word that was turned into
a bad word when it became erroneously identified with prejudice
and bias. Being discriminating simply means making choices
that improve one’s life rather than degrading it.
If, for instance, we all refused to attend certain movies,
purchase rap music, or watch Britney Spears and others simulate
the mating rituals of hyenas, we would soon find that our
entertainment industry would produce high quality works.
They instead produce what sells.
Words like honesty, integrity, honor, dignity, duty, respect
and kindness are words that are hard to exercise when people’s
behavior is so abysmal that you simply have trouble relating
to them as fellow human beings.
Words like taste, judgement, polite society, delicacy, refinement,
tact and grace have become so obsolete that I wonder if
people under forty have even heard them outside a costume
drama by Jane Austen.
For those of use who were raised with all of these words
as guides for our daily behavior, it is small wonder that
other nations consider us completely degenerate. I know
that we aren’t completely degenerate yet. That much
was proven by the response to the 9/11 attacks. We saw Americans
at their best then, but it took less than a year for that
to wear off.
We’re once again assaulted daily by the most violent
and prurient entertainment. Commercials are so vulgar and
tasteless that I can hardly think what purchasing market
the advertisers are trying to reach. Children’s cartoons
use language that should call for a great deal of washing
little mouths out with soap.
A number of young people whom I know can barely have a conversation
that is intelligible. Their adjectives and adverbs (and
often their nouns and verbs as well) consist almost entirely
of four letter words and/or street slang. These are not
young people who are intentionally trying to be insulting.
They do not seem to understand that the language is not
only offensive but that their vocabularies are so poor that
people perceive them as morons.
Yes, I long for the good old days, when the words ladies
and gentlemen meant something more than an opening for a
speech, when buttocks were something upon which to sit instead
of something to flash in people’s faces, when women
weren’t in danger of falling forward from the weight
of absurd body surgeries, when bad language was used only
in private and then only in anger, when people said “Yes,
Ma’am” and “Yes, Sir” to their elders,
and all of those other corny old behaviors. I liked and
respected people then. The old adage that “familiarity
breeds contempt” is really true. Our society has adopted
so much familiarity with its members that the signs of contempt
are everywhere. I much prefer respect to contempt and I
miss it. DBJ
